Wandering Child
I breathe the air of queens pastRespite I thought was sure to lastI was never meant to be your shadow to castYour tag-along you’d drag alongTo smoke cigarettes and talk cars all nightNo place for a child in your ragged […]
I breathe the air of queens pastRespite I thought was sure to lastI was never meant to be your shadow to castYour tag-along you’d drag alongTo smoke cigarettes and talk cars all nightNo place for a child in your ragged […]
Eyes open. I am naked in a bed next to a man who is naked.Heavy, pounding pain with the pace and purpose of a fetal heartbeat fills my head. My mouth and throat are bone dry. My body is heavy and
Sex with a Stranger Keep Reading
choices, counseling, getting over my past, guilt, memories, mistakes, promiscuity, shame, small self, stuckI was just re-reading my “About” page, checking for typos and just generally making sure the content is still relevant. And yes, unfortunately it’s still relevant. Why unfortunately? It’s still hard to admit my truth. My truth about my childhood
I’m still relevant Keep Reading
authentic self, authenticity, baggage, beliefs, blogging to be better, borderline, childhood, doubt, emotions, feelings, finding my place, getting over my past, growth, guilt, inner child, inner critic, living a better story, love, loving myself today, mistakes, moving forward, ownership, pain, questions, self-sabotage, survival, truthIt’s my mother’s birthday on Friday. I never considered her birthday to be a trigger for my childhood trauma, but alas it is. When I say childhood trauma, I’m not referring to physical abuse or sexual abuse, neither of which
“Let me know, let me know when I’ve got room to run” – Dermot Kennedy I’m very much moved by music. I easily cry during my favorite songs. And my favorite artist is singer-songwriter Dermot Kennedy. I listen to him
“Feels like winter follows you around.” There’s a song by Dermot Kennedy and that is a line in one of his songs. I relate to that lyric so much. Like that Peanuts character who was always getting rained on, or
A. A for abortion. This post is about abortion. So, if that is a topic that offends you or you feel strongly about, I’m telling you now: reading my personal opinion may ignite something inside of you. And to an
The Other Scarlet Letter Keep Reading
acceptance, aging, ah-ha moments, authentic self, authenticity, blogging to be better, challenges, childhood, choices, closure, confusion, connection, courage, dating, depression, forgiveness, freedom, getting out of bed, getting over my past, grief and loss, growth, guilt, memoir, memories, mental illness, regret, secrets, shameDuring a search for support groups for daughters of borderline or emotionally absent mothers, I came across Motherless Daughters Ministry. As I read through their website, I thought, “This is exactly what I’m looking for. I need this.” Then I
The Emotionally Absent Mother Class Keep Reading
acceptance, big steps forward, blogging to be better, books, borderline, childhood, counseling, depression, doubt, emotions, feelings, getting over my past, guilt, healing, inner child, inner critic, mother, narcissism, relationships, searching, self talk, self-doubt, self-sabotage, writingThe following blog post was written in October 2018. I used to be an infamous canceler of counseling appointments. Infamous because of timing and repetition: always last-minute and approximately 3 out of 4 appointments. My previous counselor once told me,
Oldie but Goodie: Counseling Avoidance Keep Reading
anxiety, beliefs, books, challenges, confusion, counseling, depression, divorce, energy, fear, frustration, getting out of bed, guilt, marriage, pain, uncertainty, writingI’ve been trying to find a way to say without saying that I have a problem taking prescription drugs as prescribed. I overtake the uppers to try and feel the least bit of relief from my depression and then overtake
On the journey of med adherence Keep Reading
adderall, addiction, adhd, anxiety, authentic self, authenticity, challenges, choices, depression, diet, getting over my past, guilt, inner child, loving myself today, memoir, mood cycles, self-sabotage, shame, tightness in chestI am reading The Memory Palace by Mira Bartok. Her memories take shape as a.house or maybe a castle. Nevertheless, they take shape. I feel close to Bartok. While she has a schizophrenic mother, I have an emotionally ill mother.
…that which bring healing. Keep Reading
books, getting over my past, guilt, healing, mental illness, mothers, painThese are the words my mother left me with after finding me on Etsy. ETSY! How she found me can only be due to her stalker-rific online behavior. First, she messaged me on Etsy a few times asking about my
May God Have Mercy on Your Soul Keep Reading
acceptance, borderline, guilt, mother