relationships

The Identified Patient Extends to Immediate Family

My role as identified patient extends beyond my mother…apparently. I spoke up to my immediate family about recent mistreatment I received by my sister’s boyfriend. The […]

The Identified Patient Extends to Immediate Family Read More »

blogging to be better, boundaries, childhood, choices, clarity, compassion, control, counseling, courage, family, father, growth, healing, identity, loving myself today, mental illness, mother, moving forward, new understanding, patterns, redemption, reflection, relationships, resilience, self love, sisters, stability, suicide, transformation, transparency

Wandering Child

I breathe the air of queens pastRespite I thought was sure to lastI was never meant to be your shadow to castYour tag-along you’d drag alongTo

Wandering Child Read More »

childhood, choices, deceit, drinking, drug use, feelings, getting over my past, grace, grief and loss, growth, guilt, healing, inner child, loving myself today, manipulation, marriage, memoir, ownership, pain, passing of time, redemption, reflection, regret, relationships, sabotage, sadness, small self, struggles, transparency, truth, Uncategorized

Journaling after reading Nouwen’s Imperative: Live Patiently with the “Not Yet”

I never felt received by my mother, my father, and my stepfather. This lead to me not feeling received by others outside of the home, first

Journaling after reading Nouwen’s Imperative: Live Patiently with the “Not Yet” Read More »

acceptance, childhood, church, counseling, depression, drinking, emotions, family, getting over my past, growth, Henri Nouwen, hope, love, medication, relationships

watercolour, watercolor, paint-2053247.jpg

Birthday Blues

It’s my mother’s birthday on Friday. I never considered her birthday to be a trigger for my childhood trauma, but alas it is. When I say

Birthday Blues Read More »

counseling, feelings, forgiveness, grief and loss, guilt, inner child, living a better story, mental illness, regret, relationships, resentment, sadness, self loathing, self talk, self-doubt, stability, struggles, stuck, surrender, survival, tomorrow, transformation, transparency, Uncategorized, uncertainty

Today was a sad day

I have no idea what to write about yet I’m crying, for the second time today. Today was a rough day. Mondays I’m supposed to go

Today was a sad day Read More »

bad day, blogging to be better, commitment, depression, relationships, Rituals for Transformation

The Emotionally Absent Mother Class

During a search for support groups for daughters of borderline or emotionally absent mothers, I came across Motherless Daughters Ministry. As I read through their website,

The Emotionally Absent Mother Class Read More »

acceptance, big steps forward, blogging to be better, books, borderline, childhood, counseling, depression, doubt, emotions, feelings, getting over my past, guilt, healing, inner child, inner critic, mother, narcissism, relationships, searching, self talk, self-doubt, self-sabotage, writing

Pretzels Before Pain

“You are just like mom!” my or-so-I-thought-confidante sister yells at me. Says the girl screaming at me because I said she was stressing me out by

Pretzels Before Pain Read More »

borderline, family, forgiveness, healing, mother, passing of time, relationships, sadness, sisters