I’ve heard before that people come in and out of your life for seasons. Relationships naturally ebb and flow. However, there are some relationships that one would think would outlast every season but, alas, I discovered that just isn’t the case.
I’m most disappointed in my youngest sister. I have provided emotional and financial support, career and life guidance for years and years now. And in one moment, none of that matters. As it turns out blood is thicker than water. They are connected by blood. I’m apparently just water.
I am surrounded by people in my extended family, in-laws, colleagues and friends who value me and love me unconditionally. They understand this is the first time I’ve done this whole “human” thing so I’m going to stumble. They love me when I stumble, when I’m bloodied and bruised, they love me.
I was told lies about myself and insults – to my face – “because that’s the right thing to do”, right Pedro? When I spoke up to my “family” about these verbal attacks, they took his side. Rude words were hurled by all parties. Then I stopped talking to them. When I talked to who I once considered my dad, he said, “Me? Me of all people. You won’t answer my calls?” And I’m thinking, “Yes, you. You who have attempted to parent me since I was two years old.” You know this douche for two years and agree with his lies and insults, then start talking about “skeletons in yo’ closet.” How about you fight your spouse again in front of “your” three-year-old child?
This is all beyond dysfunctional and quite honestly, fucked up with a splash of gaslighting. Who I thought were family were the snakes. They have revealed themselves to me. The season of five sisters has ended. When you tell me things about myself that I know aren’t true, when you attack my character, when you agree with the verbal aggressor – that is not love. And those aren’t the people I want in my clan. My clan loves me, and admires me, and they build me up. They look past my mistakes and challenges and see a beautiful, kind, intelligent, generous woman. I know this because they tell me.
I’ve come to terms with the plain truth that my family life looks completely different now. This is new territory I’m in and, again to be quite honest, I’m interested to see what the fuck happens. How my life transforms, how I continue to grow, how I continue to thrive and achieve my dreams.
My story just got a whole lot more interesting.
Photo by Ochir-Erdene Oyunmedeg on Unsplash