family - The Daughter Journey

You’ve done the work. It’s time to move on from it.

The words my mother-in-law said to me after she asked, “Do you want the truth or do you want me to sugar coat it?” Of course I said, “The truth.” “Your family is not speaking to you. They just aren’t. […]

You’ve done the work. It’s time to move on from it. Keep Reading

big steps forward, birthday, blogging to be better, boundaries, childhood, clarity, counseling, depression, family, getting over my past, grief and loss, growth, healing, journaling, ketamine, living a better story, looking forward, loving myself today, medication, memoir, mother, moving forward, passing of time, progress, relationships, september, sisters, taking control, transformation, writing

Holding space for love and trauma

I’m balancing writing about the fond and good memories I have as a childhood with some real trauma I experienced. I’m trying to hold space for love for both sides of those responsible for my trauma, for they were also

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balance, childhood, family, love, memoir, memories, prayer, trauma, writespace, writing

Hopeful and Happy

I had a very important meeting yesterday that will have a big impact on the future of my career. It was in the big city about 2 hours north of where I live. I left early and spent the morning

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applying to jobs, big steps forward, career search, choices, enjoy the journey, family, getting over my past, growth, healing, life is what you make it, living a better story, running, work

The Song of My Soul

Sitting at my desk filled with empty beer bottles lingering from two weekends past, I write. I kept the cans as a souvenir from my last trip, the trip I took down memory lane, the same trip I’ve taken every

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authenticity, childhood, family, freedom, getting over my past, music, pain, transparency, writing

Potter’s Closure

I started off on journey, not toward closure specifically but a journey toward a better life, toward a newer, healthier version of myself. I am seeing a counselor regularly. I have been on medication for several months now. I am

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books, childhood, closure, confusion, counseling, depression, emotions, family, freedom, heartache, medication, mistakes, pain, relationships, running, sadness, transparency, writing

New Understanding: I am Lovable

The subject of love has been on my mind since I set out on my journey. Love, a strange emotion that I don’t really understand and unsure if I’ve ever really felt – love – pure, without bitterness or regret,

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childhood, family, friendship, Henri Nouwen, Jesus, Joyce Meyer, love, mistakes, new understanding

So, what is The Daughter Journey?

I’ve shared a lot about my mental health challenges which do stem from my childhood and how my mother raised and treated me. I’ve written about my absent biological father which also lends to my mental health challenges. And while

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blogging to be better, childhood, children, emotions, family, inner child, mother, mothers, transparency, writing

family,sisters,relationships,unconditional love

Keep Your Grass Cut Low

“Keep the grass cut low in your life so that the snakes around your life and career are revealed,” Tyrese Gibson said.

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big steps forward, boundaries, church, clarity, decisions, family, forgiveness, freedom, friendship, relationships, sisters, transformation, truth

Midnight Type: Truths and Troubles

It’s midnight and I can’t sleep. I have a lot on my mind and drugs (prescribed) in my body so I’m just going to ramble. Not every post has to be eloquent, right? My sister is getting married to a

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addiction, alcohol, beach, childhood, family, getting over my past, memories, mother, moving forward, sisters, truth

The “Just Because” Post

This is a “just because” post. Just because I’m feeling good. And feisty. Have you heard the phrase, “Keep your grass cut low.” That’s where I’m at right now. Reevaluating relationships with painful realizations that things may never be the

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acceptance, authentic self, big steps forward, blogging to be better, books, challenges, choices, control, dreams, family, forgiveness, freedom, getting over my past, grace, gratitude, growth, happiness, healing, looking forward, love, memoir, sisters, truth

The Identified Patient Extends to Immediate Family

My role as identified patient extends beyond my mother…apparently. I spoke up to my immediate family about recent mistreatment I received by my sister’s boyfriend. The result – they sided with him, and the whole thing became about my mental

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blogging to be better, boundaries, childhood, choices, clarity, compassion, control, counseling, courage, family, father, growth, healing, identity, loving myself today, mental illness, mother, moving forward, new understanding, patterns, redemption, reflection, relationships, resilience, self love, sisters, stability, suicide, transformation, transparency

Biological Blues

So my mother, whether rightfully or unrightfully so, gets the blame for my childhood and adulthood challenges. Well, I had a slap-in-the-face epiphany yesterday when I saw a current day photo of my biological father. He looked frail, like a

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beliefs, birthday, emotions, family, father, feelings, mother, Random, september, suicide

Journaling after reading Nouwen’s Imperative: Live Patiently with the “Not Yet”

I never felt received by my mother, my father, and my stepfather. This lead to me not feeling received by others outside of the home, first by teachers and classmates, then later in life it would become boyfriends and coworkers.

Journaling after reading Nouwen’s Imperative: Live Patiently with the “Not Yet” Keep Reading

acceptance, childhood, church, counseling, depression, drinking, emotions, family, getting over my past, growth, Henri Nouwen, hope, love, medication, relationships

This post is probably a “no-no”

…in the blogging world. …in the job search world. …in the Christian world (which is not of the world) …in the “You’re a 40 year old woman with a dog and a husband in suburbia USA” world. Aaah. And there

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ah-ha moments, authentic self, baggage, beliefs, blogging to be better, borderline, childhood, domestic violence, emotions, family, father, fear, getting over my past, healing, inner child, mother, soul awakening, transformation

The “F” Word

I’m talking Family. I’ve never quite felt like I belonged. My biological father left my life soon after I was born and joined the army. I didn’t see him for several years. “Why doesn’t he want me?” I remember crying

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anxiety, childhood, depression, family, father, feelings, mother, suicide

To Drink or Not to Drink

Let’s look at my history with alcohol. Multiple arguments, the ending of relationships, the ending of going to school, the ending of a fresh reputation. For those reasons alone I would think that I am a person who should not

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alcohol, big steps forward, binge drinking, drinking, family, forgiveness

It’s only a matter of time

If I’m going to take this writing to Dreambook level (shout out Briana and Dr. Peter Borten and the Dragontree team!), then I have to find peace in knowing that friends and family may one day come across my blog.

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authentic self, authenticity, blogging to be better, challenges, childhood, depression, dragontree, dreams, family

Music, My Mother and Other Ramblings

I’m Lil Peep’n it right now. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I am very much moved by music and the musicians behind the music I listen to. Needless to say, I did a lot of research

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change, choices, clarity, commitment, connection, counseling, diet, discipline, divorce, dragontree, family, happiness, healing, Random

Rules to be Written

I finished House Rules tonight, underlining and scribbling notes in the margins because I couldn’t find my highlighter. I saw my family members in hers, Rachel the author. My mother was a key player, of course. But I was surprised

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childhood, family, getting over my past, mother, reading

Wandering through the Woes

I have these fears about my mother, irrational maybe, but based on her past behavior nothing would surprise me anymore. Actually, I think she could still surprise me with what that woman is capable of doing and saying. What if

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blogging to be better, childhood, courage, family, memoir, mother, truth, writing

Gratitude Season

It’s gratitude season for me. I have been recognizing all that I am blessed with and how, no matter how severe my depression and challenging motherless daughter journey gets, I have so.many.blessings. And what is wonderful about this realization is

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blessings, family, gratitude, love

Learning to be Loved

Most of my life I have steered clear of my sisters’ dad’s family. When we would go and visit the aunts and uncles and cousins, I felt out of place and like I was wearing a sign that said “Not

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family, getting over my past, loving myself today, self love, struggles

My Mother and Domestic Violence

Writing a Memoir 101, a workshop I’m taking, is helping to strengthen my confidence as a writer and why I am worth reading. The book emphasizes the importance of reading: you cannot be a good author and tell the story

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books, depression, divorce, domestic violence, family, memoir, mother, secrets, truth

Great-Grandparents: My Saving Grace

Knowing I would see Mam-ma and Pap-pa saved me from completely drowning in the trauma surrounding me. They provided me with a refuge away from my chaotic home life, a safe place where I could be a care-free child without

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blessings, childhood, church, family, grandparents, memories

Bridal Shower Boundaries

But there she was, coming up to hug me, showering me with superficial comments about how long my hair is and how good I look. And there she was, asking me questions that I didn’t want to answer — “Where

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anxiety, baggage, big steps forward, childhood, courage, family, getting over my past, mother

Pretzels Before Pain

“You are just like mom!” my or-so-I-thought-confidante sister yells at me. Says the girl screaming at me because I said she was stressing me out by something she was saying. I don’t even remember what it was about. This same

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borderline, family, forgiveness, healing, mother, passing of time, relationships, sadness, sisters

Fighting Suicide

“As a social worker, I’m seeing red flags when you say that. Do you feel like you are a burden on your friends and family?” I was completing my discharge after-care plan with the social worker provided to me by

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confusion, counseling, death, depression, family, mental illness, pain, suicide

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