Let’s look at my history with alcohol.
Multiple arguments, the ending of relationships, the ending of going to school, the ending of a fresh reputation.
For those reasons alone I would think that I am a person who should not drink. Yet I do.
I am, to this day, so embarrassed by how I acted in college when I got drunk; geez, actually in high school, too. Just a big embarrassment all around. But I can’t keep beating myself up over how I’ve acted. I can only move forward and live well. And to kick it up a notch, God has forgiven me (because I sought forgiveness from Him). So I’m able to move forward and learn from the past. I think, at the least learn something while you’re in the process of messing up. It doesn’t make what I did any better, but if I learn from it, seek forgiveness from God, express my remorse and sincerest apologies to any involved parties (if possible or even a good idea), and forgive myself. Not in that exact order. God should always be first.
So I have an event coming up and I expressed via family group text that I was anxious about drinking and with the anxiety I’m already feeling about it. My sister Jade volunteered to not drink with me. I recognized I had a problem and I’m taking precautions to ensure I don’t make the same mistakes. I think that’s a big step forward. And I think props to my sister for not drinking with me. It’s good to know I have a support system in place. She heard my cry through the group text and she answered lovingly.
Until tomorrow (or sometime).