I wanted to write something eloquent. But fuck it. In my therapy, I am uncovering decades of hurt, beginning from even before my earliest memories. My counselor asked me the most incredible question I think a therapist could ask someone […]
The brokenhearted child Keep Reading
acceptance, authenticity, beliefs, big steps forward, blogging to be better, challenges, childhood, confusion, drinking, drug use, drugs, suicide
This year I’m not sending out Christmas cards. I’m unveiling my personal blog. I’ve been journaling for about 15 years and this blog is a culmination of all of my writings. I see it as this. If you love me,
Here’s your Christmas card. Keep Reading
authentic self, big steps forward, blessings, books, borderline, boundaries, challenges, childhood, cleanse, closure, community, connection, contentment, decisions, depression, freedom, getting over my past, giving to others, glory, grace, gratitude, growth, happiness, healing, Jesus, journaling, living a better story, love, loving myself today, marriage, resilience, stability, suicide, transformation, transparency, writing
My role as identified patient extends beyond my mother…apparently. I spoke up to my immediate family about recent mistreatment I received by my sister’s boyfriend. The result – they sided with him, and the whole thing became about my mental
The Identified Patient Extends to Immediate Family Keep Reading
blogging to be better, boundaries, childhood, choices, clarity, compassion, control, counseling, courage, family, father, growth, healing, identity, loving myself today, mental illness, mother, moving forward, new understanding, patterns, redemption, reflection, relationships, resilience, self love, sisters, stability, suicide, transformation, transparency
So my mother, whether rightfully or unrightfully so, gets the blame for my childhood and adulthood challenges. Well, I had a slap-in-the-face epiphany yesterday when I saw a current day photo of my biological father. He looked frail, like a
Dear Kristin, Congratulations on graduating from Texas Tech. I’m sorry I wasn’t there; I should have been. Here’s the deal. I was a shitty mother. I was mean to you. I was sweet to you, too, which probably made things
The Letter I Wish My Mother Wrote Me Keep Reading
childhood, confusion, depression, freedom, getting over my past, grace, healing, inner child, living a better story, manipulation, mistakes, mother, mothers, redemption, reflection, suicide, writing
Wound up from the sound of my wounds It seems my seams are splitting with the spiting, hitting, biting fighting When does it end, I’m a child Haunted while you nonchalantly hiss go to your room That’s no escape, that’s
The first poem I wrote about being 5 years old and wanting to die Keep Reading
childhood, domestic violence, poem, suicide
It was a Monday about 3 years ago. I had a super depressed day, spent all day in bed on Saturday. Did some crying, felt like I wanted to disconnect from everyone in my life. I thought, “After my husband
The day my dog saved my life Keep Reading
anxiety, bad day, challenges, chocolate, death, deceit, depression, dying, emotions, feelings, food, life is hard, mental illness, sabotage, sadness, self-sabotage, shame, suicide
I’m talking Family. I’ve never quite felt like I belonged. My biological father left my life soon after I was born and joined the army. I didn’t see him for several years. “Why doesn’t he want me?” I remember crying
About two weeks ago I began Ketamine IV therapy for treatment-resistant depression as well as for anxiety and suicidal ideation. Prior to treatment, I was thinking about killing myself every day. I had a plan, I had written my letters
Kristin on Ketamine Keep Reading
anxiety, depression, ketamine, missing work because of depression, psychiatrist, suicide
“Feels like winter follows you around.” There’s a song by Dermot Kennedy and that is a line in one of his songs. I relate to that lyric so much. Like that Peanuts character who was always getting rained on, or
I attended an emotionally absent mother (EAM) 6-week course offered by Motherless Daughters Ministry in October with the intention of opening up my space, my heart really. I wanted to bring you on my motherless daughter journey by writing to
Laying it out there Keep Reading
adhd, anxiety, authentic self, beliefs, blogging to be better, challenges, childhood, confusion, depression, getting over my past, loneliness, loving myself today, mental illness, self talk, suicide, writing
I was given the opportunity to contribute stories to be published in a book about PTSD, suicide prevention and overcoming trauma. Of course I didn’t hesitate to say, “Yes!” Until I started piecing together my personal stories. I’ve been journaling
Reliving My Pain Through Sharing My Story Keep Reading
anger, mental illness, suicide, writing
“As a social worker, I’m seeing red flags when you say that. Do you feel like you are a burden on your friends and family?” I was completing my discharge after-care plan with the social worker provided to me by