Between Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert and an article I read in The Mission Newsletter, I am writing for the sake of writing. Because that’s how books are written. The author writes. Writes a lot. And I have not been writing. Anything. But now I am. Could this post get any worse? (spoiler alert: possibly)
In Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert lists just a few (20+) common fears that writers may have about their aspirations. After reading the list and checking off most of the non-existent boxes that no one asked me to do, I went to sleep. I’m sorry for the build up but I want my writing to be authentic. It was late and I was tired so I went to bed. But! The next day while I was double checking the accuracy of the previous night’s checked boxes (i.e., the list-o-fears) I had an ah-ha moment. A weird one, you’ll see.
I realized this: the recording playing in my head (the one stuck on repeat) features many of the same fears that I very accurately box-checked from the list-o-fears. But these fears are attached to my writing. I have never been so excited and thankful to be afraid. Just stay with me.
Not everything gloom and doom in my head and heart is about my lost childhood, current relationships, feeling lost…wow, that all sounds so pitiful. Anyway, my ah-ha moment I’m attempting to put into words is that I have fears and negative self-talk not directly related to the current topics I talk about in therapy. I have junk about writing. Writing! I can handle some writing junk. I feel less overwhelmed knowing that a sizable amount of junk in my Trunk of Life is manageable and not depressing, starting now. Like right now.
Oh, you kind reader from across the inter-web! Hopefully there are more than just one of you. And hopefully you will return to read more of writing for the sake of writing, but I promise it will be better. Actually I can’t promise that because…..ah, my writing junk is already getting in the way!