confusion - The Daughter Journey

Potter’s Closure

I started off on journey, not toward closure specifically but a journey toward a better life, toward a newer, healthier version of myself. I am seeing a counselor regularly. I have been on medication for several months now. I am […]

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books, childhood, closure, confusion, counseling, depression, emotions, family, freedom, heartache, medication, mistakes, pain, relationships, running, sadness, transparency, writing

The brokenhearted child

I wanted to write something eloquent. But fuck it. In my therapy, I am uncovering decades of hurt, beginning from even before my earliest memories. My counselor asked me the most incredible question I think a therapist could ask someone

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acceptance, authenticity, beliefs, big steps forward, blogging to be better, challenges, childhood, confusion, drinking, drug use, drugs, suicide

The Letter I Wish My Mother Wrote Me

Dear Kristin, Congratulations on graduating from Texas Tech. I’m sorry I wasn’t there; I should have been. Here’s the deal. I was a shitty mother. I was mean to you. I was sweet to you, too, which probably made things

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childhood, confusion, depression, freedom, getting over my past, grace, healing, inner child, living a better story, manipulation, mistakes, mother, mothers, redemption, reflection, suicide, writing

Loss

I spent some time with a good friend yesterday, but even this didn’t help. I think it made things worse. Despite being 10:30 am on a sunny Saturday, I was having a rough day, so many emotions so early in

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confusion, friendship, healing, life, life is hard, living below my potential, sadness, struggles

Prayer of Questions

Is today the day? Has the time finally arrived when I say, “Enough is enough”? When I never look back? When I charge forward propelled with the same force that has held me back year after year, failure after failure…?

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confusion, getting over my past, Jesus, pain, regret, sadness

The Other Scarlet Letter

A. A for abortion. This post is about abortion. So, if that is a topic that offends you or you feel strongly about, I’m telling you now: reading my personal opinion may ignite something inside of you. And to an

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acceptance, aging, ah-ha moments, authentic self, authenticity, blogging to be better, challenges, childhood, choices, closure, confusion, connection, courage, dating, depression, forgiveness, freedom, getting out of bed, getting over my past, grief and loss, growth, guilt, memoir, memories, mental illness, regret, secrets, shame

Laying it out there

I attended an emotionally absent mother (EAM) 6-week course offered by Motherless Daughters Ministry in October with the intention of opening up my space, my heart really. I wanted to bring you on my motherless daughter journey by writing to

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adhd, anxiety, authentic self, beliefs, blogging to be better, challenges, childhood, confusion, depression, getting over my past, loneliness, loving myself today, mental illness, self talk, suicide, writing

Oldie but Goodie: Counseling Avoidance

The following blog post was written in October 2018. I used to be an infamous canceler of counseling appointments. Infamous because of timing and repetition: always last-minute and approximately 3 out of 4 appointments. My previous counselor once told me,

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anxiety, beliefs, books, challenges, confusion, counseling, depression, divorce, energy, fear, frustration, getting out of bed, guilt, marriage, pain, uncertainty, writing

Afternoon Journaling

Random thoughts on a random day. Kind of not a random day as Labor Day was yesterday. I didn’t do anything but watch Netflix and sleep. That sounds so pitiful to me. That’s not normal, is it? I need guidance

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confusion

The Brief: How I Survived Childhood

My manuscript is currently pages of memories and insights. No order, just what I am remembering during the moments I write. I read that writers should not get too caught up or worried about “form,” because eventually paragraphs and pages

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childhood, confusion, finding my place, grandparents, Jesus, love, memoir, mother, reflection, resilience, survival

Belonging

It’s the grown-up things that scare me the most. Keeping up a house, being a wife, getting out of bed in the mornings. All are on the same scale of “how the hell am I going to do this today?”

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acceptance, closure, confusion, getting over my past, moving forward

Ramblings about Growth and Struggle

Can there be growth without struggle? I switch back and forth between contentment, anger, and sadness. One constant is that I always feel blessed. How can I feel sad and blessed at the same time? I really don’t understand my

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adhd, confusion, growth, life, sadness, struggles

Sore, Not Soar

“Sometimes you have to find your wings on the way down,” I once heard someone say. Hopeful words if I hadn’t already hit the ground. Where did the problems I was born into end and the ones I created begin?

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childhood, confusion, living below my potential, regret, sadness, self-sabotage, small self

Fighting Suicide

“As a social worker, I’m seeing red flags when you say that. Do you feel like you are a burden on your friends and family?” I was completing my discharge after-care plan with the social worker provided to me by

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confusion, counseling, death, depression, family, mental illness, pain, suicide

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