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When A Soul Awakens: It Begins Not Without Worry

As I walked toward the stable, I noticed how quiet it was.  Literally, there were no noises, just the occasional bird chirping or tree leaves rustling from the wind.  No traffic, no television, and no phone.  I was completely disconnected

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anxiety, change, connection, counseling, equine assisted therapy, fear, growth, healing, horses, loving myself today, meeting new people, Outdoors, scenery, self talk, self-doubt, soul awakening

The “Just Because” Post

This is a “just because” post. Just because I’m feeling good. And feisty. Have you heard the phrase, “Keep your grass cut low.” That’s where I’m at right now. Reevaluating relationships with painful realizations that things may never be the

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acceptance, authentic self, big steps forward, blogging to be better, books, challenges, choices, control, dreams, family, forgiveness, freedom, getting over my past, grace, gratitude, growth, happiness, healing, looking forward, love, memoir, sisters, truth

Here’s your Christmas card.

This year I’m not sending out Christmas cards. I’m unveiling my personal blog. I’ve been journaling for about 15 years and this blog is a culmination of all of my writings. I see it as this. If you love me,

Here’s your Christmas card. Keep Reading

authentic self, big steps forward, blessings, books, borderline, boundaries, challenges, childhood, cleanse, closure, community, connection, contentment, decisions, depression, freedom, getting over my past, giving to others, glory, grace, gratitude, growth, happiness, healing, Jesus, journaling, living a better story, love, loving myself today, marriage, resilience, stability, suicide, transformation, transparency, writing

The Identified Patient Extends to Immediate Family

My role as identified patient extends beyond my mother…apparently. I spoke up to my immediate family about recent mistreatment I received by my sister’s boyfriend. The result – they sided with him, and the whole thing became about my mental

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blogging to be better, boundaries, childhood, choices, clarity, compassion, control, counseling, courage, family, father, growth, healing, identity, loving myself today, mental illness, mother, moving forward, new understanding, patterns, redemption, reflection, relationships, resilience, self love, sisters, stability, suicide, transformation, transparency

Wandering Child

I breathe the air of queens pastRespite I thought was sure to lastI was never meant to be your shadow to castYour tag-along you’d drag alongTo smoke cigarettes and talk cars all nightNo place for a child in your ragged

Wandering Child Keep Reading

childhood, choices, deceit, drinking, drug use, feelings, getting over my past, grace, grief and loss, growth, guilt, healing, inner child, loving myself today, manipulation, marriage, memoir, ownership, pain, passing of time, Random, redemption, reflection, regret, relationships, sabotage, sadness, small self, struggles, transparency, truth

Personal Beliefs – Small Self turned Authentic: Part One

I wanted to go back. Way back, when I was really diving in deep in my spiritual and healing journey. I grabbed an old journal and here is what I found: October 27, 2010:  What do I believe? I’m not

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authentic self, big steps forward, blogging to be better, getting over my past, growth, healing, hope, journaling, living a better story, passing of time, progress, reflection, small self, transformation

Journaling after reading Nouwen’s Imperative: Live Patiently with the “Not Yet”

I never felt received by my mother, my father, and my stepfather. This lead to me not feeling received by others outside of the home, first by teachers and classmates, then later in life it would become boyfriends and coworkers.

Journaling after reading Nouwen’s Imperative: Live Patiently with the “Not Yet” Keep Reading

acceptance, childhood, church, counseling, depression, drinking, emotions, family, getting over my past, growth, Henri Nouwen, hope, love, medication, relationships
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I’m still relevant

I was just re-reading my “About” page, checking for typos and just generally making sure the content is still relevant. And yes, unfortunately it’s still relevant. Why unfortunately? It’s still hard to admit my truth. My truth about my childhood

I’m still relevant Keep Reading

authentic self, authenticity, baggage, beliefs, blogging to be better, borderline, childhood, doubt, emotions, feelings, finding my place, getting over my past, growth, guilt, inner child, inner critic, living a better story, love, loving myself today, mistakes, moving forward, ownership, pain, questions, self-sabotage, survival, truth
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Transformation: the book, The Book and a wise owl

I put a hold on my 108-day journey with Rituals for Transformation. Why? I was doing so well, reading the messages twice a day and journaling my insights. I’m trying to live a better life. I’ve made so many boneheaded

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acceptance, beliefs, bible study, blessings, books, dragontree, finding my place, forgiveness, freedom, friendship, fruit of the spirit, growth, happiness, healing, Jesus, living a better story, putting God first, reading, redemption, Rituals for Transformation, scripture, self love, transformation, truth, uncertainty, writing
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Getting rid of the icky

So what’s been helping my mood? Rituals for Transformation is the biggest reason and it’s because the book calls for twice a day meditation and journaling. Plus, I’m reading all of the good messages of the day in the book.

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anxiety, authentic self, authenticity, big steps forward, blogging to be better, books, challenges, change, childhood, counseling, dragontree, feelings, getting over my past, grace, growth, happiness, healing, inner child, inspiration, journaling, living a better story, loving myself today, self-doubt, writing
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108 Day Journey

“Let me know, let me know when I’ve got room to run” – Dermot Kennedy I’m very much moved by music. I easily cry during my favorite songs. And my favorite artist is singer-songwriter Dermot Kennedy. I listen to him

108 Day Journey Keep Reading

adderall, addiction, alcohol, anxiety, baggage, beliefs, binge drinking, blessings, blogging to be better, challenges, choices, clarity, commitment, community, connection, depression, dragontree, drug use, drugs, finding my place, getting over my past, giving to others, grace, growth, guilt, healing, inner critic, Jesus, journaling, medication, meditation, memoir, mental illness, mistakes, mother, mothers, moving forward, narcissism, passing of time, questions, reading, reflection, running, searching, transformation, writing
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The Other Scarlet Letter

A. A for abortion. This post is about abortion. So, if that is a topic that offends you or you feel strongly about, I’m telling you now: reading my personal opinion may ignite something inside of you. And to an

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acceptance, aging, ah-ha moments, authentic self, authenticity, blogging to be better, challenges, childhood, choices, closure, confusion, connection, courage, dating, depression, forgiveness, freedom, getting out of bed, getting over my past, grief and loss, growth, guilt, memoir, memories, mental illness, regret, secrets, shame
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