I wrote the post below in March 2010. Fifteen years ago. That is just so crazy to me. But…I’m so glad I came across this old blog post. In it I write,
I know there will be rough days ahead, but I’ve already made it through some pretty heavy stuff. And I will continue to make it through, and not endure life, but enjoy life. If I ever have any doubts about the strength God grants me, I will just read this journal entry.
So much freaking insight. And this was during a time I was feeling very lost. My life situation was beyond not preferable. But…I had hope. Here is the post in full:
Much Progress.
I had a long day yesterday, thinking intently, deeply, really concentrating on what God has laid on my heart recently. I shared this with you in my journal post. And, not only did opening myself up to those I love and who love me help relieve me from anxiety and pressure I was feeling, but my actions today spoke volumes as to how far I’ve come in my journey.
The thing is, nothing really spectacular had to happen for me to see this progress. In fact, I had a very average day, and I loved every minute of it. I didn’t dwell on my revelations yesterday, I didn’t feel sorry for myself and mope around. I went to work today, and worked diligently and happily. I enjoyed my lunch, I enjoyed my work, I enjoyed making small talk with ladies in the office. It was an all-around, really good day.
I feel like my struggles and issues and worries are all falling away one by one. I’m slowly packing away this unhealthy lifestyle that I’ve become all too comfortable with, handing these pieces over to God, and making space for happiness and hope.
On a side note, and adding even more joy in my life, I ran with the marathon training group on Wednesday, and am running a 6-mile training run tomorrow morning. It’s been a whole year…and I have to say I was a little nervous making my first appearance after such a long time had passed. But, I did it and now I’m going to show my dedication to the team by becoming a regular at the runs.
I can feel myself changing, and that is exciting. I know there will be rough days ahead, but I’ve already made it through some pretty heavy stuff. And I will continue to make it through, and not endure life, but enjoy life. If I ever have any doubts about the strength God grants me, I will just read this journal entry.
Now, here’s to a sunny, relaxing weekend!
Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash
