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You’ve done the work. It’s time to move on from it.

The words my mother-in-law said to me after she asked, “Do you want the truth or do you want me to sugar coat it?” Of course I said, “The truth.” “Your family is not speaking to you. They just aren’t. […]

You’ve done the work. It’s time to move on from it. Keep Reading

big steps forward, birthday, blogging to be better, boundaries, childhood, clarity, counseling, depression, family, getting over my past, grief and loss, growth, healing, journaling, ketamine, living a better story, looking forward, loving myself today, medication, memoir, mother, moving forward, passing of time, progress, relationships, september, sisters, taking control, transformation, writing

Changing the Course of a Day

The following blog post is exactly why I journal and publish for all to read. I love reading the insight I gained in the exact moment I gained it. Fifteen years ago I felt so lost, as I outline in

Changing the Course of a Day Keep Reading

bad day, big steps forward, blessings, challenges, choices, emotions, getting out of bed, getting over my past, hope, just do it, living a better story, loving myself today, marathon training, mood cycles, moving forward, pushing myself, reflection, running, scripture, self talk

When A Soul Awakens: It Begins Not Without Worry

As I walked toward the stable, I noticed how quiet it was.  Literally, there were no noises, just the occasional bird chirping or tree leaves rustling from the wind.  No traffic, no television, and no phone.  I was completely disconnected

When A Soul Awakens: It Begins Not Without Worry Keep Reading

anxiety, change, connection, counseling, equine assisted therapy, fear, growth, healing, horses, loving myself today, meeting new people, Outdoors, scenery, self talk, self-doubt, soul awakening

Here’s your Christmas card.

This year I’m not sending out Christmas cards. I’m unveiling my personal blog. I’ve been journaling for about 15 years and this blog is a culmination of all of my writings. I see it as this. If you love me,

Here’s your Christmas card. Keep Reading

authentic self, big steps forward, blessings, books, borderline, boundaries, challenges, childhood, cleanse, closure, community, connection, contentment, decisions, depression, freedom, getting over my past, giving to others, glory, grace, gratitude, growth, happiness, healing, Jesus, journaling, living a better story, love, loving myself today, marriage, resilience, stability, suicide, transformation, transparency, writing

The Identified Patient Extends to Immediate Family

My role as identified patient extends beyond my mother…apparently. I spoke up to my immediate family about recent mistreatment I received by my sister’s boyfriend. The result – they sided with him, and the whole thing became about my mental

The Identified Patient Extends to Immediate Family Keep Reading

blogging to be better, boundaries, childhood, choices, clarity, compassion, control, counseling, courage, family, father, growth, healing, identity, loving myself today, mental illness, mother, moving forward, new understanding, patterns, redemption, reflection, relationships, resilience, self love, sisters, stability, suicide, transformation, transparency

Wandering Child

I breathe the air of queens pastRespite I thought was sure to lastI was never meant to be your shadow to castYour tag-along you’d drag alongTo smoke cigarettes and talk cars all nightNo place for a child in your ragged

Wandering Child Keep Reading

childhood, choices, deceit, drinking, drug use, feelings, getting over my past, grace, grief and loss, growth, guilt, healing, inner child, loving myself today, manipulation, marriage, memoir, ownership, pain, passing of time, Random, redemption, reflection, regret, relationships, sabotage, sadness, small self, struggles, transparency, truth
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I’m still relevant

I was just re-reading my “About” page, checking for typos and just generally making sure the content is still relevant. And yes, unfortunately it’s still relevant. Why unfortunately? It’s still hard to admit my truth. My truth about my childhood

I’m still relevant Keep Reading

authentic self, authenticity, baggage, beliefs, blogging to be better, borderline, childhood, doubt, emotions, feelings, finding my place, getting over my past, growth, guilt, inner child, inner critic, living a better story, love, loving myself today, mistakes, moving forward, ownership, pain, questions, self-sabotage, survival, truth
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Giving up things of the world

I just want to float away. It seems too easy to be that easy – you can just leave all the pain behind and no longer be in pain even though you’ve floated away from everyone who loves you?

Giving up things of the world Keep Reading

acceptance, adderall, addiction, alcohol, anxiety, baggage, beach, beliefs, binge drinking, blogging to be better, borderline, boundaries, depression, father, Jesus, living a better story, living below my potential, loneliness, loving myself today, memoir, memories, mental illness, mother
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Getting rid of the icky

So what’s been helping my mood? Rituals for Transformation is the biggest reason and it’s because the book calls for twice a day meditation and journaling. Plus, I’m reading all of the good messages of the day in the book.

Getting rid of the icky Keep Reading

anxiety, authentic self, authenticity, big steps forward, blogging to be better, books, challenges, change, childhood, counseling, dragontree, feelings, getting over my past, grace, growth, happiness, healing, inner child, inspiration, journaling, living a better story, loving myself today, self-doubt, writing
man, head, mind

Mental Health Woes and Wanderings

Currently close to 2:30 a.m. I’m sitting outside, with my laptop of course, and I’m just enjoying the night. While listening to Dermot Kennedy. I actually feel a sense of joy, which I haven’t felt in awhile. I couldn’t sleep

Mental Health Woes and Wanderings Keep Reading

baggage, blogging to be better, challenges, childhood, counseling, creativity, death, depression, friendship, getting out of bed, getting over my past, inner child, inner critic, loving myself today, mental illness, mistakes, mother, personality traits, sabotage, will i ever be good enough, writing
rose, red, smoke

Laying it out there

I attended an emotionally absent mother (EAM) 6-week course offered by Motherless Daughters Ministry in October with the intention of opening up my space, my heart really. I wanted to bring you on my motherless daughter journey by writing to

Laying it out there Keep Reading

adhd, anxiety, authentic self, beliefs, blogging to be better, challenges, childhood, confusion, depression, getting over my past, loneliness, loving myself today, mental illness, self talk, suicide, writing
wave, ocean, sea

Making Waves: Keep Moving Forward

I have no idea why I’m sitting outside, in the sunshine and fresh air, writing. Yesterday I was in bed until 2 pm, then I went to the grocery store with my husband. Don’t even ask about showering. But today

Making Waves: Keep Moving Forward Keep Reading

adderall, adhd, anxiety, attitude, authentic self, beliefs, blogging to be better, challenges, change, control, counseling, depression, emotions, getting out of bed, housekeeping, how to live, inner child, just do it, laundry, life, life is hard, living a better story, living below my potential, loving myself today, mental illness, mood cycles, morning anxiety, moving forward, Outdoors, reflection, searching, self loathing, self talk, self-doubt, self-sabotage, soul, sunshine, transparency, vyvanse, where do I fit in?, will i ever be good enough, worrying
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Sunrise

My Instagram feed told me that Michelle Obama just turned 57. Some may say she’s at the peak of her life. Her beauty, inside and out, is so apparent. And she is beautiful. She is America. Then I got to

Sunrise Keep Reading

aging, ah-ha moments, anxiety, authenticity, change, decisions, depression, dolphins, dreams, getting out of bed, getting over my past, inner child, inner critic, life, loving myself today, mental illness, mistakes, moments, moving forward, passing of time, struggles, stuck, success, worrying, writing

On the journey of med adherence

I’ve been trying to find a way to say without saying that I have a problem taking prescription drugs as prescribed. I overtake the uppers to try and feel the least bit of relief from my depression and then overtake

On the journey of med adherence Keep Reading

adderall, addiction, adhd, anxiety, authentic self, authenticity, challenges, choices, depression, diet, getting over my past, guilt, inner child, loving myself today, memoir, mood cycles, self-sabotage, shame, tightness in chest
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