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You’ve done the work. It’s time to move on from it.

The words my mother-in-law said to me after she asked, “Do you want the truth or do you want me to sugar coat it?” Of course I said, “The truth.” “Your family is not speaking to you. They just aren’t. […]

You’ve done the work. It’s time to move on from it. Keep Reading

big steps forward, birthday, blogging to be better, boundaries, childhood, clarity, counseling, depression, family, getting over my past, grief and loss, growth, healing, journaling, ketamine, living a better story, looking forward, loving myself today, medication, memoir, mother, moving forward, passing of time, progress, relationships, september, sisters, taking control, transformation, writing
typewriter on white wood

An Evening I Will Not Forget

Dermot Kennedy’s songs came up twice in last weekend’s Writespace workshop, which was about connecting your writing to sounds. And, I signed up for the workshop with Dermot Kennedy on my mind because I am so, very moved by his

An Evening I Will Not Forget Keep Reading

big steps forward, books, childhood, community, feelings, getting over my past, growth, healing, inner child, inspiration, living a better story, meeting new people, memoir, mother, mothers, moving forward, music, pain, progress, relationships, self talk, taking control, transformation, writespace, writing
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Overcoming Through Writing

Very recently, I attended a workshop about overcoming your trauma through writing. W.T.F. When I first came across the name of the workshop, which was hosted by Writespace where I’ve attended many workshops in the past, I thought, “This is

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anxiety, authentic self, authenticity, beauty, big magic, blogging to be better, books, change, childhood, choices, clarity, closure, community, connection, courage, creativity, emotions, enjoy the journey, memoir, reflection, sacred, self love, soul, soul awakening, surrender, survival, transformation, transparency, trauma, truth, worrying, writespace, writing

Here’s your Christmas card.

This year I’m not sending out Christmas cards. I’m unveiling my personal blog. I’ve been journaling for about 15 years and this blog is a culmination of all of my writings. I see it as this. If you love me,

Here’s your Christmas card. Keep Reading

authentic self, big steps forward, blessings, books, borderline, boundaries, challenges, childhood, cleanse, closure, community, connection, contentment, decisions, depression, freedom, getting over my past, giving to others, glory, grace, gratitude, growth, happiness, healing, Jesus, journaling, living a better story, love, loving myself today, marriage, resilience, stability, suicide, transformation, transparency, writing

The Identified Patient Extends to Immediate Family

My role as identified patient extends beyond my mother…apparently. I spoke up to my immediate family about recent mistreatment I received by my sister’s boyfriend. The result – they sided with him, and the whole thing became about my mental

The Identified Patient Extends to Immediate Family Keep Reading

blogging to be better, boundaries, childhood, choices, clarity, compassion, control, counseling, courage, family, father, growth, healing, identity, loving myself today, mental illness, mother, moving forward, new understanding, patterns, redemption, reflection, relationships, resilience, self love, sisters, stability, suicide, transformation, transparency

Wandering Child

I breathe the air of queens pastRespite I thought was sure to lastI was never meant to be your shadow to castYour tag-along you’d drag alongTo smoke cigarettes and talk cars all nightNo place for a child in your ragged

Wandering Child Keep Reading

childhood, choices, deceit, drinking, drug use, feelings, getting over my past, grace, grief and loss, growth, guilt, healing, inner child, loving myself today, manipulation, marriage, memoir, ownership, pain, passing of time, Random, redemption, reflection, regret, relationships, sabotage, sadness, small self, struggles, transparency, truth

The Letter I Wish My Mother Wrote Me

Dear Kristin, Congratulations on graduating from Texas Tech. I’m sorry I wasn’t there; I should have been. Here’s the deal. I was a shitty mother. I was mean to you. I was sweet to you, too, which probably made things

The Letter I Wish My Mother Wrote Me Keep Reading

childhood, confusion, depression, freedom, getting over my past, grace, healing, inner child, living a better story, manipulation, mistakes, mother, mothers, redemption, reflection, suicide, writing

Journaling after reading Nouwen’s Imperative: Live Patiently with the “Not Yet”

I never felt received by my mother, my father, and my stepfather. This lead to me not feeling received by others outside of the home, first by teachers and classmates, then later in life it would become boyfriends and coworkers.

Journaling after reading Nouwen’s Imperative: Live Patiently with the “Not Yet” Keep Reading

acceptance, childhood, church, counseling, depression, drinking, emotions, family, getting over my past, growth, Henri Nouwen, hope, love, medication, relationships

This post is probably a “no-no”

…in the blogging world. …in the job search world. …in the Christian world (which is not of the world) …in the “You’re a 40 year old woman with a dog and a husband in suburbia USA” world. Aaah. And there

This post is probably a “no-no” Keep Reading

ah-ha moments, authentic self, baggage, beliefs, blogging to be better, borderline, childhood, domestic violence, emotions, family, father, fear, getting over my past, healing, inner child, mother, soul awakening, transformation
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I’m still relevant

I was just re-reading my “About” page, checking for typos and just generally making sure the content is still relevant. And yes, unfortunately it’s still relevant. Why unfortunately? It’s still hard to admit my truth. My truth about my childhood

I’m still relevant Keep Reading

authentic self, authenticity, baggage, beliefs, blogging to be better, borderline, childhood, doubt, emotions, feelings, finding my place, getting over my past, growth, guilt, inner child, inner critic, living a better story, love, loving myself today, mistakes, moving forward, ownership, pain, questions, self-sabotage, survival, truth
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Getting rid of the icky

So what’s been helping my mood? Rituals for Transformation is the biggest reason and it’s because the book calls for twice a day meditation and journaling. Plus, I’m reading all of the good messages of the day in the book.

Getting rid of the icky Keep Reading

anxiety, authentic self, authenticity, big steps forward, blogging to be better, books, challenges, change, childhood, counseling, dragontree, feelings, getting over my past, grace, growth, happiness, healing, inner child, inspiration, journaling, living a better story, loving myself today, self-doubt, writing
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Winter in Spring

“Feels like winter follows you around.” There’s a song by Dermot Kennedy and that is a line in one of his songs. I relate to that lyric so much. Like that Peanuts character who was always getting rained on, or

Winter in Spring Keep Reading

addiction, alcohol, anger, anxiety, authentic self, baggage, blogging to be better, challenges, childhood, death, decisions, dying, forgiveness, getting out of bed, getting over my past, grace, guilt, healing, human suffering, memoir, memories, mental illness, suicide
man, head, mind

Mental Health Woes and Wanderings

Currently close to 2:30 a.m. I’m sitting outside, with my laptop of course, and I’m just enjoying the night. While listening to Dermot Kennedy. I actually feel a sense of joy, which I haven’t felt in awhile. I couldn’t sleep

Mental Health Woes and Wanderings Keep Reading

baggage, blogging to be better, challenges, childhood, counseling, creativity, death, depression, friendship, getting out of bed, getting over my past, inner child, inner critic, loving myself today, mental illness, mistakes, mother, personality traits, sabotage, will i ever be good enough, writing
tree, branches, silhouette

The Other Scarlet Letter

A. A for abortion. This post is about abortion. So, if that is a topic that offends you or you feel strongly about, I’m telling you now: reading my personal opinion may ignite something inside of you. And to an

The Other Scarlet Letter Keep Reading

acceptance, aging, ah-ha moments, authentic self, authenticity, blogging to be better, challenges, childhood, choices, closure, confusion, connection, courage, dating, depression, forgiveness, freedom, getting out of bed, getting over my past, grief and loss, growth, guilt, memoir, memories, mental illness, regret, secrets, shame
rose, red, smoke

Laying it out there

I attended an emotionally absent mother (EAM) 6-week course offered by Motherless Daughters Ministry in October with the intention of opening up my space, my heart really. I wanted to bring you on my motherless daughter journey by writing to

Laying it out there Keep Reading

adhd, anxiety, authentic self, beliefs, blogging to be better, challenges, childhood, confusion, depression, getting over my past, loneliness, loving myself today, mental illness, self talk, suicide, writing

The Emotionally Absent Mother Class

During a search for support groups for daughters of borderline or emotionally absent mothers, I came across Motherless Daughters Ministry. As I read through their website, I thought, “This is exactly what I’m looking for. I need this.” Then I

The Emotionally Absent Mother Class Keep Reading

acceptance, big steps forward, blogging to be better, books, borderline, childhood, counseling, depression, doubt, emotions, feelings, getting over my past, guilt, healing, inner child, inner critic, mother, narcissism, relationships, searching, self talk, self-doubt, self-sabotage, writing
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