When I started this blog in 2009, it was just that, a blog. A complicated girl’s simple blog. It was essentially a public journal. I was anonymous, and I wrote whatever was on my mind and heart. I did not worry if it sounded right, and to be honest, the writing was so good. It was so honest.
I was navigating a recent traumatic breakup, experiencing explosive depressive episodes, drinking like a fish, and just trying to make it through life. At the time, I thought I was doing a terrible job. But when I read back through those early posts, I can see that I was exactly where I needed to be. It did not feel like it, and it definitely did not look like it. But things were lining up, working in my favor, moving me toward the life I have today.
And today. Whew. Sometimes it still feels like a roller coaster, but overall, I am so grateful I made it through all of the past madness. I thank the Lord at night and again in the morning as I sit outside with my coffee and my dog before the day begins.
Perfectionism has stunted my creative writing. It has held back my blog’s growth, its depth, and even its reach. But I heard something recently on a podcast that stayed with me. There is no better time than right now. Not tomorrow. Not some meaningful date on the calendar. Right now. This moment.
So this is my now.
And that’s what this space has always been about. Not perfection. Not timing. Not having everything figured out. Just showing up as I am, when I am, and trusting that it is enough.
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