This is what life with bipolar looks like – it can be structured, planned, intentional…but still the array of emotions I feel each day can be overwhelming. On top of work, daily duties, being a wife, working to be a better wife, working to be a better person. Overwhelming is a gently word to explain how I feel sometimes. Sometimes often.
The Imperfect Post Keep Reading
The words my mother-in-law said to me after she asked, “Do you want the truth or do you want me to sugar coat it?” Of course I said, “The truth.” “Your family is not speaking to you. They just aren’t. You’ve got to move on from that.” “I wouldn’t want
You’ve done the work. It’s time to move on from it. Keep Reading
Dermot Kennedy’s songs came up twice in last weekend’s Writespace workshop, which was about connecting your writing to sounds. And, I signed up for the workshop with Dermot Kennedy on my mind because I am so, very moved by his music and I am always super inspired to write when
An Evening I Will Not Forget Keep Reading
I’m balancing writing about the fond and good memories I have as a childhood with some real trauma I experienced. I’m trying to hold space for love for both sides of those responsible for my trauma, for they were also responsible for some nice moments. However, as I just said,
Holding space for love and trauma Keep Reading
Very recently, I attended a workshop about overcoming your trauma through writing. W.T.F. When I first came across the name of the workshop, which was hosted by Writespace where I’ve attended many workshops in the past, I thought, “This is speaking to me.” I just felt it in my connective
Overcoming Through Writing Keep Reading
Sitting at my desk filled with empty beer bottles lingering from two weekends past, I write. I kept the cans as a souvenir from my last trip, the trip I took down memory lane, the same trip I’ve taken every weekend since I was sixteen when I tasted my first
The Song of My Soul Keep Reading
I started off on journey, not toward closure specifically but a journey toward a better life, toward a newer, healthier version of myself. I am seeing a counselor regularly. I have been on medication for several months now. I am reading inspirational books, I am praying, I am limiting my
The fear of writing the wrong first word…yes, the very first word…fearing that it will be the wrong word that the judges won’t like has held me back from entering writing competitions in the past. I’m not writing to enter the contest. I’m writing to win. So, do I need
weeping may endure for a night Keep Reading
I’ve shared a lot about my mental health challenges which do stem from my childhood and how my mother raised and treated me. I’ve written about my absent biological father which also lends to my mental health challenges. And while mental health is a journey of its own, I want
So, what is The Daughter Journey? Keep Reading
This year I’m not sending out Christmas cards. I’m unveiling my personal blog. I’ve been journaling for about 15 years and this blog is a culmination of all of my writings. I see it as this. If you love me, truly, and care about me unconditionally, then you will read
Here’s your Christmas card. Keep Reading
Dear Kristin, Congratulations on graduating from Texas Tech. I’m sorry I wasn’t there; I should have been. Here’s the deal. I was a shitty mother. I was mean to you. I was sweet to you, too, which probably made things confusing. I let my own issues affect how I parented
The Letter I Wish My Mother Wrote Me Keep Reading
So I couldn’t sleep tonight…well yesterday to be exact. So I thought, “Let’s just get the day started. I can blog. I can craft. I can take my Vyvanse.” There. That’s it. The big one. Vyvanse. As I sit here typing to whoever wants to read someone’s sleepless ramblings, this
Midnight Type: Let’s Get the Day Started Keep Reading
I put a hold on my 108-day journey with Rituals for Transformation. Why? I was doing so well, reading the messages twice a day and journaling my insights. I’m trying to live a better life. I’ve made so many boneheaded mistakes as an adult. I’m very hard on myself. If
Transformation: the book, The Book and a wise owl Keep Reading
So what’s been helping my mood? Rituals for Transformation is the biggest reason and it’s because the book calls for twice a day meditation and journaling. Plus, I’m reading all of the good messages of the day in the book. It’s a lot of positivity that is entering my brain
Getting rid of the icky Keep Reading
“Let me know, let me know when I’ve got room to run” – Dermot Kennedy I’m very much moved by music. I easily cry during my favorite songs. And my favorite artist is singer-songwriter Dermot Kennedy. I listen to him a lot. Therefore, I cry a lot. His music makes
Currently close to 2:30 a.m. I’m sitting outside, with my laptop of course, and I’m just enjoying the night. While listening to Dermot Kennedy. I actually feel a sense of joy, which I haven’t felt in awhile. I couldn’t sleep and I had some work to do so I said,
Mental Health Woes and Wanderings Keep Reading
I attended an emotionally absent mother (EAM) 6-week course offered by Motherless Daughters Ministry in October with the intention of opening up my space, my heart really. I wanted to bring you on my motherless daughter journey by writing to you about it in real time. But I soon realized
Laying it out there Keep Reading
My Instagram feed told me that Michelle Obama just turned 57. Some may say she’s at the peak of her life. Her beauty, inside and out, is so apparent. And she is beautiful. She is America. Then I got to thinking, I’ll be that age in 20 years. I was
During a search for support groups for daughters of borderline or emotionally absent mothers, I came across Motherless Daughters Ministry. As I read through their website, I thought, “This is exactly what I’m looking for. I need this.” Then I saw it – the ministry’s address – Ohio. Ohio! Really?
The Emotionally Absent Mother Class Keep Reading
The following blog post was written in October 2018. I used to be an infamous canceler of counseling appointments. Infamous because of timing and repetition: always last-minute and approximately 3 out of 4 appointments. My previous counselor once told me, “I never knew if you were going to show up
Oldie but Goodie: Counseling Avoidance Keep Reading
Between Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert and an article I read in The Mission Newsletter, I am writing for the sake of writing. Because that’s how books are written. The author writes. Writes a lot. And I have not been writing. Anything. But now I am. Could this post get
I have these fears about my mother, irrational maybe, but based on her past behavior nothing would surprise me anymore. Actually, I think she could still surprise me with what that woman is capable of doing and saying. What if she gets a hold of my writing and starts a
Wandering through the Woes Keep Reading
Struggle: this is a word I am familiar with. Sometimes too familiar, sometimes way too familiar. Hourly I find myself asking, “Will my struggle always be real?” Talking with my counselor earlier this week, she said something very Oprah-esque. “You either struggle backward or you struggle forward.” As my counselor
I am part of a community. A community of writers, and they all remind me of me. I can be myself. It’s still scary, of course. But I’ve opened up to this group of strangers more than I’ve opened up to anyone in my life, husband and counselor included.
I’m dangerously close to the deadline of submitting my stories for the PTSD/Suicide Prevention book. I’ve always been a procrastinator, and some of my best work has come when I was down to the wire. I decided I’d pick up Inner Voice of Love by Henri Nouwen and read a
Writer’s Block < Inner Voice of Love Keep Reading
I was given the opportunity to contribute stories to be published in a book about PTSD, suicide prevention and overcoming trauma. Of course I didn’t hesitate to say, “Yes!” Until I started piecing together my personal stories. I’ve been journaling semi-consistently for almost 10 years and I have never cried
Reliving My Pain Through Sharing My Story Keep Reading
My anxiety. Where is it going? And why did it decide to leave so suddenly? As I looked at my very own website that is still very much under construction and read my domain name I thoughtfully chose, I had a flood of relief wash over me. I am in