After talking with my counselor today, I left her office with a question. An internal question. What is holding me back from going after my dreams? My work and career are near perfect. I’m doing what I love, which inspires me in my personal life. And the creative things I do in my personal life inspire me while I’m working. I have a home. A stable home. No leases. My own piece of property.
I was sitting on my back porch (no this isn’t the beginning of a country song…but it could be). I was sitting on my back porch looking at my yard and thinking about my house and if it feels like this is what I’ve worked for. This is the result of a college education. But the reality is, I am in a two income household with my husband. Our “lifestyle” is different than the lifestyle I would have on my own. I’m not sure I’d be in a house. I wouldn’t be going to golf tournaments on the west coast or venturing into foreign North American territory, eh. What would I be doing? What would my life look like? Would I be going after these dreams I have? Or would I be what I am now – unmotivated, high anxiety and moved by anything. I don’t want this to be my truth.