I recently read a LinkedIn post by a writer who said, “Your audience needs to hear from you consistently. Not perfectly.” And I thought, that is so true. I don’t have to publish the most eloquent blog post in order for my content, my words, my thoughts to be relevant […]
The “Sometimes” List Keep Reading
The words my mother-in-law said to me after she asked, “Do you want the truth or do you want me to sugar coat it?” Of course I said, “The truth.” “Your family is not speaking to you. They just aren’t. You’ve got to move on from that.” “I wouldn’t want
You’ve done the work. It’s time to move on from it. Keep Reading
Very recently, I attended a workshop about overcoming your trauma through writing. W.T.F. When I first came across the name of the workshop, which was hosted by Writespace where I’ve attended many workshops in the past, I thought, “This is speaking to me.” I just felt it in my connective
Overcoming Through Writing Keep Reading
I’m really doubting myself right now. Doubting my abilities as a writer, as an employee, a wife. I feel like I don’t have much to offer. I don’t know why these people keep me in their lives — maybe they feel bad for me and know I’d be alone without
Doubt is a Mother Keep Reading
Traveling back to March 2015 I wasn’t sure what I wanted to blog about, I just knew I wanted to write. So here goes. Reading this blog is kind of neat — it’s like a not-so-secret diary where I can voice my opinions, put my fear into words, type
The fear of writing the wrong first word…yes, the very first word…fearing that it will be the wrong word that the judges won’t like has held me back from entering writing competitions in the past. I’m not writing to enter the contest. I’m writing to win. So, do I need
weeping may endure for a night Keep Reading
I wanted to write something eloquent. But fuck it. In my therapy, I am uncovering decades of hurt, beginning from even before my earliest memories. My counselor asked me the most incredible question I think a therapist could ask someone who is suicidal. “How old do you feel when you
The brokenhearted child Keep Reading
I’ve shared a lot about my mental health challenges which do stem from my childhood and how my mother raised and treated me. I’ve written about my absent biological father which also lends to my mental health challenges. And while mental health is a journey of its own, I want
So, what is The Daughter Journey? Keep Reading
This is a “just because” post. Just because I’m feeling good. And feisty. Have you heard the phrase, “Keep your grass cut low.” That’s where I’m at right now. Reevaluating relationships with painful realizations that things may never be the same again. “How melodramatic!” my husband would say. But it’s
The “Just Because” Post Keep Reading
My role as identified patient extends beyond my mother…apparently. I spoke up to my immediate family about recent mistreatment I received by my sister’s boyfriend. The result – they sided with him, and the whole thing became about my mental illness. I’m not getting help. But actually I am getting
The Identified Patient Extends to Immediate Family Keep Reading
I wanted to go back. Way back, when I was really diving in deep in my spiritual and healing journey. I grabbed an old journal and here is what I found: October 27, 2010: What do I believe? I’m not good enough. I’m damaged. I don’t have discipline; discipline is
Personal Beliefs – Small Self turned Authentic: Part One Keep Reading
…in the blogging world. …in the job search world. …in the Christian world (which is not of the world) …in the “You’re a 40 year old woman with a dog and a husband in suburbia USA” world. Aaah. And there it is. Why do I think this post is probably
This post is probably a “no-no” Keep Reading
Today was one of those days…where 7 days feel crammed into one, with all of a week’s worth of errands to run, tasks to complete, and emotions to flow crazily through my body. I was happy yet sad, patient yet frustrated, giving yet stubborn. I loved my life one minute,
[Emotional] Rollercoaster Keep Reading
I was just re-reading my “About” page, checking for typos and just generally making sure the content is still relevant. And yes, unfortunately it’s still relevant. Why unfortunately? It’s still hard to admit my truth. My truth about my childhood and early adulthood. It hurts to know, to finally understand,
I’m still relevant Keep Reading
After talking with my counselor today, I left her office with a question. An internal question. What is holding me back from going after my dreams? My work and career are near perfect. I’m doing what I love, which inspires me in my personal life. And the creative things I
Quick Ponder: Dreams Unexplored Keep Reading
I just want to float away. It seems too easy to be that easy – you can just leave all the pain behind and no longer be in pain even though you’ve floated away from everyone who loves you?
Giving up things of the world Keep Reading
I’m wondering if I’m doing myself (and you) a disservice by posting daily. I don’t feel like I’m giving you a whole lot of substance to keep you interested in reading. I’m also afraid that if I don’t blog everyday that I’ll go back into writing hibernation where I wasn’t
This Journey I’m On Keep Reading
I haven’t done Rituals for Transformation (RFT) perfectly. I didn’t night journal a couple of nights and my meditation needs more practice. I seriously can close my eyes for a few minutes but then I start getting antsy, my mind wanders and meditation is the last thing on my mind.
Freedom in Forgiveness Keep Reading
So what’s been helping my mood? Rituals for Transformation is the biggest reason and it’s because the book calls for twice a day meditation and journaling. Plus, I’m reading all of the good messages of the day in the book. It’s a lot of positivity that is entering my brain
Getting rid of the icky Keep Reading
If I’m going to take this writing to Dreambook level (shout out Briana and Dr. Peter Borten and the Dragontree team!), then I have to find peace in knowing that friends and family may one day come across my blog. That is scary to me. What will they think? Will
It’s only a matter of time Keep Reading
I have no idea what to write about yet I’m crying, for the second time today. Today was a rough day. Mondays I’m supposed to go into the office but I worked from home. I just didn’t have it in me to get up and ready for the day. So
Today was a sad day Keep Reading
I am on the 18th day of Rituals for Transformation (RFT) but this is the first day of my “blog everyday” promise. It’s a promise to me as much as it’s a promise to you. It also just makes sense. I will continue to journal by hand because I read
“Let me know, let me know when I’ve got room to run” – Dermot Kennedy I’m very much moved by music. I easily cry during my favorite songs. And my favorite artist is singer-songwriter Dermot Kennedy. I listen to him a lot. Therefore, I cry a lot. His music makes
“Feels like winter follows you around.” There’s a song by Dermot Kennedy and that is a line in one of his songs. I relate to that lyric so much. Like that Peanuts character who was always getting rained on, or Oscar the Grouch (he lives in a trashcan afterall). Depression
I’m sitting outside listening to the birds chirp their language of life and presence. Something about birds has always intrigued me. Possibly because my great-grandparents had several bird features and even a bird bath! Can you imagine being a kid and watching birds land on this statue-esque structure and clean
Currently close to 2:30 a.m. I’m sitting outside, with my laptop of course, and I’m just enjoying the night. While listening to Dermot Kennedy. I actually feel a sense of joy, which I haven’t felt in awhile. I couldn’t sleep and I had some work to do so I said,
Mental Health Woes and Wanderings Keep Reading
A. A for abortion. This post is about abortion. So, if that is a topic that offends you or you feel strongly about, I’m telling you now: reading my personal opinion may ignite something inside of you. And to an extent, I hope it does. But we’re all adults so
The Other Scarlet Letter Keep Reading
I attended an emotionally absent mother (EAM) 6-week course offered by Motherless Daughters Ministry in October with the intention of opening up my space, my heart really. I wanted to bring you on my motherless daughter journey by writing to you about it in real time. But I soon realized
Laying it out there Keep Reading
I have no idea why I’m sitting outside, in the sunshine and fresh air, writing. Yesterday I was in bed until 2 pm, then I went to the grocery store with my husband. Don’t even ask about showering. But today I was out of bed by 8 am, took care
Making Waves: Keep Moving Forward Keep Reading
It’s not all Vyvanse’s fault. I mismanaged my prescription today (i.e. took a second pill at 4 pm), but I had to do work. And I can only do work hyped up on Vyvanse. I don’t want the adderall anymore; it puts me in an aggressive mood and doesn’t do
Another Sleepless Night brought to you by Vyvanse Keep Reading
During a search for support groups for daughters of borderline or emotionally absent mothers, I came across Motherless Daughters Ministry. As I read through their website, I thought, “This is exactly what I’m looking for. I need this.” Then I saw it – the ministry’s address – Ohio. Ohio! Really?
The Emotionally Absent Mother Class Keep Reading
A Saboteur. It sounds like a handsome, romantic, traveling Frenchman. Oh, how I wish it were. After two decades of shitting on anything good that came into my life, it wasn’t until the past few years that I was able to put my self-deprecating actions into words. Self-sabotage. Education, finances,
A Frenchman and a Child Keep Reading
I have these fears about my mother, irrational maybe, but based on her past behavior nothing would surprise me anymore. Actually, I think she could still surprise me with what that woman is capable of doing and saying. What if she gets a hold of my writing and starts a
Wandering through the Woes Keep Reading
Wow. How much personal work I have done! I am reading my hand-written journaling from 2011, and I did much writing during that year. And understandable so. I had moved in with my now fiance and the plan was for me to be a “house-girlfriend.” That was until we added
Revisiting the Past for a Better Future Keep Reading